OK...for the 3rd time...maybe this will work.
Wish I could have gotten this post to Greg earlier and it would have saved him all the anguish, disappointment and heartbreak of having to fly to the beautiful Gulf waters, where he will be fishing every evening from the beach; eating delicious seafood;going out in the Gulf with a fishing guide; having to listen to the lapping Gulf waters on the beach every nite as it lulls him to a peaceful sleep.
Since trying to post this HOURS ago...I have since learned from my most endearing blogging buddies,that there is a possibility he does not have his camera!!!! Somehow get the word to him...we know what he would do if he forgot his fishing pole...he would buy a new (and probably better one).....well, my dear son, it works for cameras also...BUY A NEW ONE. WE WANT PIX OF YOUR SUFFERING THIS WEEK!!!! And by the way, after you read these remedies, you could not have learned any more from the "ER pros" this week in Naples.
NOW FOR THE REMEDIES:
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic...simply pour a cup of boiling water down throat and the blockage will soon disappear.
2. Clumsy?? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. You can avoid hypertension from arguing with spouse about lifting toilet seat...just by using the sink.
4. Hypertension suffers...simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your viens. Remember to use an egg timer!!
5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. Then use that time for exercise.
6. If you have a bad cough from tobacco, take a large dose of laxatives. You will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with hammer and you will forget toothache.
8. Sometimes we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
IN LIFE, YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS..WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE.
IF IT DOES NOT MOVE BUT SHOULD...USE WD-40
IF IT DOES MOVE BUT SHOULD NOT...USE DUCT TAPE.
If only Greg would have told us he NEEDED more remedies...we could have saved him from all that "stinky, smelly, fishing and sunburn" he'll have this week. Also a tummy ache from the pizza party he is having on Sunday. I received a call from Aunt Barbara and they are planning a PARTY...and to think...without us!!!! Life can be tuff!!!!
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
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