Wednesday, March 28, 2007

AMAZING HOME REMEDIES

OK...for the 3rd time...maybe this will work.

Wish I could have gotten this post to Greg earlier and it would have saved him all the anguish, disappointment and heartbreak of having to fly to the beautiful Gulf waters, where he will be fishing every evening from the beach; eating delicious seafood;going out in the Gulf with a fishing guide; having to listen to the lapping Gulf waters on the beach every nite as it lulls him to a peaceful sleep.

Since trying to post this HOURS ago...I have since learned from my most endearing blogging buddies,that there is a possibility he does not have his camera!!!! Somehow get the word to him...we know what he would do if he forgot his fishing pole...he would buy a new (and probably better one).....well, my dear son, it works for cameras also...BUY A NEW ONE. WE WANT PIX OF YOUR SUFFERING THIS WEEK!!!! And by the way, after you read these remedies, you could not have learned any more from the "ER pros" this week in Naples.

NOW FOR THE REMEDIES:

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic...simply pour a cup of boiling water down throat and the blockage will soon disappear.

2. Clumsy?? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. You can avoid hypertension from arguing with spouse about lifting toilet seat...just by using the sink.

4. Hypertension suffers...simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your viens. Remember to use an egg timer!!

5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. Then use that time for exercise.

6. If you have a bad cough from tobacco, take a large dose of laxatives. You will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with hammer and you will forget toothache.

8. Sometimes we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
IN LIFE, YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS..WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE.
IF IT DOES NOT MOVE BUT SHOULD...USE WD-40
IF IT DOES MOVE BUT SHOULD NOT...USE DUCT TAPE.

If only Greg would have told us he NEEDED more remedies...we could have saved him from all that "stinky, smelly, fishing and sunburn" he'll have this week. Also a tummy ache from the pizza party he is having on Sunday. I received a call from Aunt Barbara and they are planning a PARTY...and to think...without us!!!! Life can be tuff!!!!

16 comments:

Keetha Broyles said...

I found it!!!!!

Check my blog for a "snookdate"

If you want to delete the post you made which only has a title and no comments, you can do so - - - go to dashboard, then go to the "manage posts" area - - - click on it - - - a list of all you posts will come up with choices like "edit" or "delete"

Just an idea of you want to 'clean' up your construction site a bit!?!

Keetha Broyles said...

PS - - - Greg HAS our camera in FL, thus the reason why I can't add any NEW photos this week. Don't worry - - HE doesn't need to spend one red cent on a camera. Besides, no need to EVER encourage him to spend money - - - - better to DISCOURAGE that in him!!!

Char said...

Your home remedies are so witty, I'm copying them and e-mailing them to some friends. I'll leave out the part about Greg, though.

Thanks for the post!

Anonymous said...

Mom, these are so funny. I hope we can figure out how to post pics when I come down. Keetha, will you be available by phone this weekend? Of course, we also have Keri so surely, we can get some pics on here. won't you all be surprised to finally have some clue of what the other side looks like?!

Keri said...

HAHAHA Grandma you're too funny!!! Love you!

Char said...

Would love to hear more from you!

Char said...

Hi Grammy! I keep coming by hoping for more of your wit and wisdom.

Anon said...

hahahaha

WHASSUP Grammy?

Missed ya!

Anon said...

Oh where is my Grammy?

grammy said...

Making plans to come to "Hicksville" with Aunt Jeany on 6/21. Wanted to be there for Kyle's grad and then we planned on coming for his party tomorrow but a "few clogs were thrown into the churn" and couldn't complete the "buttah".

So glad to have you back blogging!! We missed you!!!

grammy said...

Anon, the previous comment was for you...I'll learn this blogging someday???? Maybe!!!!

Anon said...

hahahahaha

I'm laughing at the last 2 comments.

We're all waiting on a new post!

eager anticipation.....

Anonymous said...

I also check in here from time to time to see if mom has figured out how to post the pics...not yet..

Keetha Broyles said...

Want a little NEW action on your blog???? I'll leave ya a comment here. Wonder when you'll find it?

grammy said...

Tag...you're it!!!!

The maker and designer of my blogspot has visited me. Thanks for stopping by.

Let's see if makers and designers of blogspots will find this????

Keetha Broyles said...

LOL - - - you must have the e-mail notification turned on.

Oh yah, I think I turned it on for you when I set up the blog!!!